Dear Occupants:

A very close friend of mine told me about your advertisement in Faeboy magazine for a root to rent. I am submitting my application in the hopes you still have an opening.

I must first confess that I spent seven months in Imperium. Imperium was and still is a fine clan, but I spent most of that time at SH or leveling and yearned to return to the simpler pleasures of mudding.

Prior to this mort the longest I think I stayed at level one was 10 minutes. I outcasted on good terms and finally began my third remort (Cleric/Thief/Warrior). After an intervention by my friends I realized I had a leveling addiction and I enrolled in Candace's School for the SuperNewbie Challenged. It took hours of counseling and therapy but I finally summoned the courage to type NOEXP. I know have begun the task of actually learning this mud. Heck I didn't even know Midgaard had a pond!

Oh one other thing about being an ex-soldier in Imperium, well we are called grunts. So if you should hear grunting noises coming from my root late at night, pay no heed, old ex-soldiers grunt in their sleep. Yeah that's the ticket!

Personality wise I am more teddy than bear. But I have been know to shove a cookie up the arse ... err that should have been in the ear of anyone who offends a friend. I am fiercely loyal.

Now why am I applying to Daoine? Well its those loose fitting clothes- um when you actually do wear clothes that is. You have no idea how that Imperium armor can chafe after three months at SH. I don't know if this rash will ever go away. And of course there is all that nifty clan eq, save for Faeboy magazine - What's up with that?

I mean, Holy Boogie Nights, they had to add an extra page on the centerfold to fit *all* of Klaatu on. I'm beginning to think I better change my battle cry before stepping into the shower. Now the real reason I am applying. Sunny promised me wild kinky sex in every room of the clan maze. I turned her down of course, citing my marriage and the morals of an alley cat.

When she stopped laughing (and it took quite some time) she explained she didn't mean with herself. Oh my, how embarrassing *blush*. I must admit, however, that I now how an overwhelming desire to learn every room in your maze. And I may have to visit each room more than once - I'm a slow learner *eg*.

Ok and the number one reason I'm responding to your ad:

I love one sweet by nature and name
The sound of her voice drives me insane
To be clanned with her would fill me with pride
Happily living life on the Seelie side

Other clans hold no interest you have the pick of the litter
You have the one that makes my heart flitter
I've applied to no others they are out of luck
Cuz frankly Scarlett I don't give a flux.

You can reach me at Dreamweaver@OutToLunch.com